Throughout my years as a magazine publisher and as a reader of magazines, I have noticed that most publishers, myself included, tend to take the route of talking about the weather. What I mean by that is … I could easily talk about how this issue ushers in the highly anticipated summer season – kids out of school, the opportunity to dip your toes in water and … VACATION! However, you already know what’s coming – it happens every year.
Another event that happens annually is Father’s Day. I am proud of the two stories we were able to feature that celebrate the relationship between fathers and sons – both very different. Our cover story on Bart Millard of MercyMe gives insight into a relationship that had its shares of peaks and valleys and had somewhat of a bittersweet, but happy ending – one of healing.
The other is a story about a father and son relationship in its infancy with the son only eight-years-old. However, seeing the tight-knit bond that is already in place, I feel quite sure they will weather any storm – together.
My father/daughter story is not really anything to write about, unless it was in a memoir, because it’s not something that warms your heart. My father chose to not be around, although there have been some guest appearances. The last one lasted a couple of years and I really thought for a while it would stick, that he would understand the importance of family, however … I learned that it’s really hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
I’m happy for the times we got to spend together because it solved some mysteries for me. I learned where some of my traits come from – both physically and personality wise. It was amazing to know that some things are just inherited, regardless of whether you are around the person who was partially responsible for your existence. I was also able to get past the idea that things could be different, after really giving it my all, to have a father/daughter relationship.
There was a time in my life where I felt the void, but thankfully I had a mother who was totally devoted to me. And I also had some wonderful men who stood in the gap for me, much like a father. And when you become an adult you have to forge onward and know that your experiences, bad and good, just become a part of your story.
Bad situations don’t have to define you … in fact they can serve as encouragement to go in the total opposite direction. I get frustrated when I hear adults blame who they are on their parents. At some point you must take ownership for the person you’ve become and not fall back on the experiences or values that were instilled in you.
It’s a choice.
Kind of like the weather. You can choose to be disappointed by the rain, or you can choose to know that the sunshine will eventually show up again. We need both to achieve balance; because without the rain, we wouldn’t appreciate the sunshine.
So Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers, whether you got it right or wrong; without you, there are a lot of us who wouldn’t be here.
Until next time,